“I've always loved psychology. I wanted to understand what makes people tick and how to help solve some of society's problems. I'm actually of retirement age, but I opened this practice just right before I was going to retire. When COVID hit, I saw such a huge need for counseling and mental health services. It just knocked people for a loop in so many different ways.
For someone to be able to take care of their relationships, their families, their job, and their lives, they have to take care of themselves. I've been in the field for 45 years, and what we're recognizing is that many people have a lot of trauma in their background, and if we don't recognize and address that, we won’t understand why they behave the way they do or why they struggle with the issues they struggle with.
One of my newest specialties is a wonderful program called Prolonged Exposure Therapy. It was designed by the federal government for our returning servicemen in treating PTSD, but they found it very effective in the general population as well, maybe even more so. It’s a short-term program, and often we get quick and lasting results. The theory is that you can't push down all these feelings and emotions that are happening because of a trauma, because it's like a tea kettle—the steam is going to come out sooner or later and you're just going to blow.
So in the program, you relive your experience and you tell it over and over again until it becomes not so scary. We say that you’re bringing your trauma out of the shadows to face it in real life. While we do that, we learn ways to understand and cope with that experience until you can master it.
Here’s an example: let’s say you were assaulted on the street in a city one night leaving a bar. Right off the bat, you're never going back to that bar. Then pretty soon, you don't want to ever go back to that city. After that, you don't ever want to go to a bar or want to go out after dark, and your world just gets smaller and smaller.
In Prolonged Exposure Therapy, we might start with just looking at a picture of that bar on the internet. When we’re feeling good about that, we might go to a bar or even just sit across the street from one with a friend. After you feel comfortable with that, you might go back to that city. Then when you’re feeling confident, you might sit in that bar for five minutes. After a while, they'll just come in and say, ‘Melody, that doesn't bother me anymore at all.’
Our body does not get cut off at the neck. Our head is part of our body. If you're going to go to your family doctor when you've got the flu, they’re going to give you the medication to help you get over that quicker. So, why would you not seek out a specialist for your brain? Your brain is a very important part of your body and it affects so much of what you do.”
—Melody Munro-Wolfe, MM Wolfe Psychotherapy

“When people come to therapy for the first time, I tell them, ‘I'm glad you're here.’ We start with where you're at, even if you’re not ready to discuss anything specifically. I'll bring it up every so often and ask, ‘Are you ready to deal with that issue?’, but I'm going to wait until you tell me you're ready. I will gently urge you to, but we're going to start with whatever you're most comfortable with.
I also tell people that there are treatments that work. Talk therapy is effective. It depends on the person and why they’re at therapy, but often the most effective treatment is combining talk therapy with medication. Just not medication alone, or not talk therapy alone, but usually both. I also have many clients that come to a private therapist because they don't want to be put on medication and I'm okay with that. If I see three months down the road, you're still severely depressed and you're crying every time you come to see me, I'm going to push you to go see that doctor and get on something mild. But if you don't want to, we'll continue to work on it and if we can help you without it, that's what we'll do.
Nobody deserves to feel that kind of hurt or live with that kind of pain. Depression and anxiety are painful, and that pain is very real. It's hard to understand if you've never been through an intense depression or anxiety, how very difficult it can be to get out of bed and get motivated, or how painful every little critical thing somebody says to you feels, or how it hampers your success in life.
Therapy is going to relieve your suffering. It's going to give you more confidence. It's going to teach you some coping skills, and it's going to improve your relationships. Usually your sleep is improved, your appetite, it really impacts everything.
What’s interesting is that depression shows itself differently in men. We think of women as being very anxious, or not able to sleep and maybe they stop eating or they overeat. With men, they tend to show it with anger. So, that's my first sign if you're having some anger issues, to look a little deeper underneath that. At first guys don't want to admit that they're dealing with depression, because there's a shame factor and stigma with it. Luckily, a lot of that is going away.
Taking care of your mental health and therapy is going to improve your overall quality of life. It will help improve all areas of your life like at work, in your relationships, at home, even your hobbies. You're going to have more energy and you're going to feel like doing things.”

“Lapeer is a wonderful community for raising a family. We have a son who is developmentally disabled, and we knew that when he was growing up he would need to have friends close by with lots of activities and opportunities. That was one reason we stayed. Then thanks to people like Jim, I was one of the founding members on the Lapeer Community Theatre board. We have a thriving arts community here, which has always been really important, and for a small town, I think we do quite well. We have the gallery and theater, and now we even have a second theater group in town. We just have so many creative opportunities. I like the way our downtown reflects that creative sense. It's a small town that doesn't feel too small and it also doesn't feel too big. I just came back from visiting my sister in Portland, and I was never so glad to get back home!”
– Melody Munro-Wolfe, owner of MM Wolfe Psychotherapy PLLC
 

“It was about 2011 when Lapeer Alcohol and Drug Screening opened. I was a stay-at-home mom at the time with six girls. We were homeschooling most of them and I wanted a part-time job that fit around what I was already doing. I wanted something close to home, where I set my own schedule, and something where I didn't have to have a fancy wardrobe or make any huge changes. Then this job opened up and God has really blessed my time here. I started in 2012 and in 2014, the owners of the business opened a branch in Burton. Then in 2015, they asked me if I wanted to buy it. We did and the rest is history. We changed the name to Professional Alcohol & Substance Screening, or PASS.
Because my business is kind of an oddball business, as a member of the DDA board I care about the businesses that don't necessarily fit the typical mold of retail or restaurants, for example, funeral homes. We reach out to business owners and try to help people come up with business plans that are sustainable to find a way of doing business that is right for them.
I also love all the little things that make a downtown area more homey, which is part of placemaking. I would love to see more bike racks in downtown Lapeer to make it bike and pedestrian friendly. I was recently walking downtown with our 18-year-old and she said something about seeing a TikTok video about ‘cities that you can walk in’. Because of my involvement in the DDA, I've seen the numbers so I said, ‘Lapeer is about 75% walkable.’
I remember one day, I was at work longer than I should have been and none of our kids could drive yet. I said, ‘Rogers Pharmacy is like two blocks from our house. You can probably see the back of it from our back window. Why don’t you walk over there?’ At that moment this light bulb went on with them saying, ‘Oh my gosh! We can go there by ourselves!’ They had never thought about that, but once they realized they could walk to Rogers and get snacks they would do it. They will have friends over and walk down to Blend, New To You, or go visit some of the shops downtown. There are so many other parks within walking distance of our house and they loved that.”
​​– Mindy Schwab, Owner of PASS and DDA Board Member
 

“We aren't originally from Lapeer. I was born in Nebraska and grew up in Kansas, and before we lived here, we lived in Virginia.
One of the things we loved about Lapeer is all the parks and the Rec Center, where we used to take our kids swimming there all the time. We have bike trails and so many people love using the walking paths in Lapeer and that's probably one of my favorite things. Along with a Sunday morning dog walk, we have the dog park where dogs can live their best lives, and the owners who are there at the same time every day get to know each other.
If you are in downtown Lapeer on prom or homecoming night, we have a huge number of spots where people take photos of their kids all dressed up, like on the courthouse steps or in the pocket park. It's neat to see so many people by The Pix sign around graduation when it says, ‘Congratulations, Class of whatever year’ and kids are out there taking pictures with the sign. There are just a number of locations in the downtown area that you'll see on certain days especially, or engagement pictures, senior pictures. It's neat to see the area being an important part of people’s lives.”
​​– Mindy Schwab, Owner of PASS and DDA Board Member
 

“I joined the DDA board because I did one of those things where I made a great suggestion and he said, ‘Do you want to be on the board?’ They were looking for somebody who lived in the district: I do, my office is here, and we also own the commercial building, so we have a lot of skin in the game.
We moved into our house because we wanted to be in the center of things, but then there was a definite downturn in the downtown area with lots of vacant buildings at the time. I would go for a run and see all the businesses closing and empty storefronts.
As a property owner, you want to see your investment protected. As a mom, you want someplace safe for your kids. As a citizen, you want to see your community grow and thrive, and joining the DDA was an opportunity to help make those things happen.‘Downtown Development Authority’ is what the DDA stands for. I am on the placemaking and business development committees. Then, because my business is kind of an oddball business—you either need it or you don't—I care about the businesses that don't necessarily fit the typical mold of being a restaurant or retail. The funeral home was one I thought of today and that's another one that when you need it, you don't want it. We reach out to business owners and try to help people come up with business plans that are sustainable to find a way of doing business that is right for them. Then all the little things that make a downtown area more homey are part of placemaking, which was appealing to me.
It's been a real joy to see the downtown coming back. So many buildings now are occupied with thriving businesses, and seeing people walking around outside talking to each other has been awesome.”
​​– Mindy Schwab, Owner of PASS and DDA Board Member
 

“We took over the gym from the previous owner in 2019 and then the pandemic hit—what a great time to own a gym, right? Then the business owner next door stopped us in the hallway and said, ‘I'm done. Do you guys want my space?’
We were barely staying afloat. But for some reason we said, ‘Yeah, we'll take it’. It was a scary time to grow, but we did. The gym community here—you couldn't stop them—so it was really the community that supported and encouraged us.
Now, we’re busting at the seams. We’ve added more and we still want to add different things. When we bought the building, we knew we wanted to stay in Lapeer because this is a community that supports us. We are here for them. We’ve looked at growing other places, but we're not leaving Lapeer because of this community.”
– Ron and Leah Pelshaw, Eight Twenty Club
 

“When you are part of a gym community, the people you work out with become your friends. We have seen it happen here at Eight Twenty Club: members are at each other's weddings; they're going to kids' graduation parties, they’ll go on bike rides together outside the gym. It can become your core group of people, and along with the health benefits, that’s something that people who don’t work out at a gym miss out on. Places like Planet Fitness like to say it’s a ‘Judgment-free Zone,’ but I am telling you, when you have a gym family like this family, there is no judgment.
We have everything from group fitness to state, national and world-record powerlifters working out of this gym. You can walk in and get a great group workout done in 45 minutes, or work out by yourself for two or three hours. We can also write the programs for you, where we rotate body parts, types and styles of workouts, and we provide all the nutritional coaching. It's all included in our membership, and nothing is ever extra, ever.
Sometimes gyms can be intimidating and scare people away. But we think what makes us unique is that we are both in our 40s, ‘normal’ people. A lot of my clients say things like, ‘I see these gym bodies on Instagram and I don't look like them.’ And we are like, ‘We don't look like them, either.’ We're not looking to make you into the people you see on Instagram—we're looking to make healthy human beings who feel like they’re part of a community and good about themselves.
That's exactly what this gym is.”
– Ron and Leah Pelshaw, Eight Twenty Club
 

Historic Lapeer’s Holiday Depot is an organization with one very clear, very important mission: no child in Lapeer will be without gifts for the holidays.

Holiday Depot looks very much like any other store. Rows of new, colorful toys, clothes and books line the rows in crisp packaging. Nothing about the place indicates that these gifts are obtained through anything other than traditional means. Nothing about them screams “used” or “damaged” the way some similar resources for those in need might.  In fact, director Debbie Marquardt says they only accept new, unopened goods.

“These families are often buying thrift all year. We feel that for Christmas, for that one day, they should get brand new items,” says Marquardt.
For those who have struggled financially, or are struggling still, the quiet dignity of that means more than words can convey. When you are always looking for items that are used, damaged or outdated because that’s how you can afford them, the privilege of just having something fresh, unopened and new is a special sort of gift in and of itself. Nothing about the gifts the parents get there communicates that their child is having a different holiday experience than any other child. And for struggling families, that can be a miracle.
 
And it’s a miracle made possible by this community every single year.
“We serve about 400 families each year, and approximately 1,700 kids,” says Marquardt.

That kind of giving doesn’t come without massive effort on the part of others. Marquardt says she spends an average of 30 hours a week working on the Holiday Depot, but stresses it’s not just her making this happen, but rather a huge collaborative effort on the part of legions of volunteers—each doing some part to make sure there are gifts for every child in need. Whether that be volunteering at the shop, helping with toy collecting, coordinating things, adopting a family or just helping to get the message out to both those in need and those in a position to help. It’s a herculean task to make this sort of holiday magic, but every year, they get it done.
Ways to help are numerous:

• Adopt a family.
• Donate a new, unwrapped toy.
• Place a collection barrel in your business.
• Put up a giving tree.
• Hold a personal care item drive.
• Volunteer to help.

 
All donations stay right here in Lapeer County, helping our kids and our neighbors.

In addition to helping with gifts, Holiday Depot makes sure each family has access to food and personal care items such as toothpaste, soap, diapers, paper products, laundry supplies and more. Having enough of these personal care items available is an area where they especially have need at this time, and donations would be greatly appreciated.
If you or a loved one in Lapeer County is struggling and would benefit from the Holiday Depot, they are currently accepting applications. Low income residents can apply by coming to the Holiday Depot with a valid driver’s license or ID, birth certificates or Social Security cards for all children in the household, along with proof of income for the past 30 days. Please bring a list of gifts for your children with you when you come to apply. Walk in times are from 10 a.m. to noon on Nov. 7, 14, 21 and Dec. 5 and 12.
Marquardt stresses there in no shame in needing help for the holidays. “So many families are struggling this year because of COVID-19,” says Marquardt, “ and some, you know, work very hard and still don’t have enough extra for things like gifts. They are just putting food on the table and paying bills and can’t afford to do more.”
She says what we hear echoed so often among the people we hear working to better the community; “in Lapeer we take care of each other.” And she’s right. For all our differences and struggles, we are a community that looks out for one another. In all kinds of ways, we make sure those around us are going to be okay. And if doing that means pulling off a holiday miracle for 400 families each year, then Lapeer and the Holiday Depot will be here to do just that. 
 
The Holiday Depot is located at 110 Park Street in Historic Lapeer. To learn more, follow them on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/HolidayDepotofLapeerCounty